


Borderline

by MokuK



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Ghosts, In which Merlin still suffers because I am such a cruel cruel author, M/M, Merlin doesn't live forever, Not A Happy Ending, Not Underage, Reincarnation, just growing up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-10 23:05:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/791224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MokuK/pseuds/MokuK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Arthur first met Merlin, the other was just a lonely boy that never left the swings, but as Arthur gets older, he starts wondering. Why does Merlin never age? Why can't other's see him? More importantly, why was he there? Merthur</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little story that I thought of while waiting for my parents to pick me up. There's a small playground where I was, so I was sitting on the swings and thought of this, how it would be so perfect for Merthur, and well, this was born. The chapters will be really short since they're honestly just moments between the two, but the ones later will be longer… Uh, right, this won't be an underage relationship in case you're worried about that… *awkward laughter*

The chains of the swings creak softly, drawing the small blond boy's attention. Shirking away from his mother, he ventures closer to the older boy swinging all by himself. He looks lonely, the boy decides, so he draws closer with the intention of befriending this mysterious person. "Hello," he whispers shyly. "My name is Arthur. Can I play with you?"

The creaking stopps when the older boy digs his heels into the woodchips, head shooting up with his bright blue eyes wide open and staring at Arthur. "You..."

Arthur tilts his head to the side curiously. "Me?"

The older boy chuckles, but Arthur doesn't like this laugh. It doesn't sound happy, like laughs were supposed to. It sounded so sad and depressed. Determined to cheer him up, Arthur hops onto the swing beside the boy. "What's your name, mister?"

A painful smile was etched upon the boy's face. "I have many names, but you…" He turns to smile at Arthur, this one filled with more happiness, and that made Arthur swell with pride at the idea that  _he_  had been the one to put the smile on this big brother's face. "You, Arthur, can call me Merlin."

"That's a funny name," Arthur pouts. "Isn't that the old magic man from Cal—Cami—Camiloot?"

Merlin smiles, pushing himself in the swings once more. The creaking continues. "Camelot."

"Yeah, that!" Arthur sticks out his chest, joining Merlin in the air. "I knew that."

"Of course you did," Merlin says seriously, the hint of a smile tugging at his lips. The two continue to swing back and forth, and Arthur watches Merlin. Merlin has brown hair, short and curly. He also has bright blue eyes that seemed to be stuck on something in the distance, but when Arthur tries to find what Merlin was looking at, he doesn't see anything or anyone.

Arthur tries to start up the conversation again. "So, are we friends then? I want you to be my friend, but my daddy says that I need friends my age. How old are you, Merlin?"

Merlin looks even sadder at that question, so Arthur hates himself for making the older boy frown. "I don't know, Arthur. I've lost track."

"Nobody can forget how old they are!" Arthur cries out in shock. "I know my grandma's 89, and she hasn't lost track yet! She can't remember me, but we all know how old she is!"

"Well, there's nobody that knows me anymore." Merlin sighs, lowering his head so that Arthur can't see Merlin's pretty blue eyes.

"I know you," Arthur tries weakly.

"Yes, I suppose you do," Merlin breaths.

Arthur doesn't want to make Merlin sad. He really doesn't, so he holds out his hand for Merlin to grab as they swing. Merlin looks confused, but takes the six-year-old's tiny hand in his own. Arthur grins as they continue swinging and their paths slowly melt into one. "See, Merlin! I know you."

This time, Merlin laughs, and it's a genuine, resounding laugh that has the older boy closing his eyes and throwing his head backwards. Arthur beams. Merlin was laughing! "I suppose you do know me, hm?"

"Yup!" Arthur grins, relieved when Merlin returns it.

The two continue chatting, Arthur telling Merlin about his parents and how his father was never home. He tells him about Gwen, the nice girl that he had met on his first day of school, and how his cousin Morgana was mean to him during class. Merlin listens attentively, but never volunteers any information of his own.

Soon, the sun begins to disappear behind the trees and the light is slipping away. "Arthur!" His mother is calling, so the small blond boy slipps off the swings and stumbles across the woodchips.

Before he left, he turned back to Merlin. "Will I see you again?"

Merlin looks amused, but there is an underlying resignation in it as well. "I'm always here, Arthur. I never leave."

Arthur is confused. "What do you mean? Don't you have a home?" Merlin just shakes his head slightly, ceasing his swinging. "Why are you here then?"

"I'm waiting."

Arthur wants to continue talking to Merlin, but his mother calls him once more. With one final glance backwards at the boy, he races up to his mother and grasps her outstretched hand. She smiles at him fondly. "Who were you talking to, Arthur?"

"Merlin!" Arthur exclaims. "He says he doesn't have a home and that he's waiting, so he's always on the swing. He's lonely, Mommy…"

Ygraine peers over her shoulder, looking confused. "There's nobody there, Arthur dear."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since these chapters are relatively short, they should come up more frequently, but I can't guarantee because of my busy schedule and procrastination. I'm going to try to keep up this pace as much as I can! I'm going to try to stick to a constant update schedule, but no promises! They'll be going up every Sunday if I can manage it!
> 
> Okays, so slightly longer than last time, and some of that was this A/N... Hey, 200 is better than none~
> 
> Reviews are love, and they fuel my writing spirit. Seriously, I write better when I have more people yelling at me... :)

The next time Arthur goes to the park, he goes with his best friend Leon. He and Leon have been friends since they were babies, so Arthur wants to introduce Merlin to him as well.

Once they reach the park, Arthur immediately sees the same lonely figure on the swings, and his face lights up as he calls, "Merlin!", racing towards the swing set. Leon follows after him at a more languid pace, but he seems interested, which pleases Arthur.

Merlin smiles when Arthur reaches him, his blue eyes focusing on Leon after they stare into Arthur's joyfully. "I see you brought a friend. Arthur—"

Arthur cuts him off—he doesn't mean to!—when he says joyfully to Leon, "Leon, this is Merlin! He's my new friend!"

Leon stares blankly at the swings, and Arthur can't tell whether he's happy or mad because he's not showing any expression. At all. "Nice to meet you, Merlin," is all he says, and then he's off to play on the slides, leaving Arthur alone with Merlin.

"I don't understand, Merlin." Arthur complains. "Why isn't he happy to see you?"

Merlin looks sad again, and Arthur is really starting to hate that expression on his new friend. The older boy pats the swing next to him as an invitation, and Arthur jumps on eagerly, kicking his feet back and forth to gain momentum. "It's a...long story, Arthur..."

"We have time! Leon's mommy doesn't want us back until dinnertime, so we have until the sun starts going down!" Arthur expects Merlin to be pleased. After all, he has time to tell his story now, doesn't he?

For a while, Merlin doesn't speak, so Arthur swings next to him and watches as his best friend traverses the playground, leaping across the bridge and sliding down all of the slides. The constant creaking of the swings accompanies their awkwardness.

"I..." Merlin finally begins. Arthur snaps to attention, bringing his own blue eyes to Merlin, but Merlin doesn't meet them like he had hoped. He's watching that thing in the distance again, not Arthur. Arthur wishes that for once, Merlin would look at him and play with him, get off of the swings and slide and leap with  _him_. "People can't see me, Arthur."

That brings Arthur back to reality. "What do you mean, people can't see you?! I can see you, can't I?"

"Yes," Merlin admits, "but I don't know why you can."

Arthur stares down at the woodchips. "Don't you want me to see you?"

"I do!" Merlin protests. He doesn't say anything else, so they continue swinging in silence, and it becomes an unspoken challenge to see who can swing higher. Merlin obviously wins, because he's older. Arthur feels like the wind was pushing Merlin along, but he can't exactly prove that the older boy is using the wind to help him, because that's impossible, right?

"It's been a long time, Arthur, and I've spent a good number of years just sitting here alone. It's nice to finally have someone to talk to." Merlin whispers, and Arthur can just barely hear him over the  _creakcreakcreak_  of the chains.

Arthur asks, just as softly, "Why couldn't they see you? Why can't Leon or Mommy see you, but I can?"

"I don't know, Arthur. Go play with your friend. I can see that he wants to play with you. He must be lonely on the playground all by himself while his best friend is swinging." Arthur starts to complain, but Merlin cuts him off. "I've been lonely for a long time, Arthur," he chuckles bitterly. "A few more hours of being alone won't kill me." He laughs, a horrible-not-happy laugh that indicates that there's something that he knows and that Arthur doesn't, but Arthur doesn't pry because he knows that Merlin doesn't want to continue talking. After all, he can always come back and visit. Then he can ask why other people can't see Merlin, and why he's been waiting so long.

He leaps off the swings, landing in a small explosion of woodchips. Arthur runs up to Leon, who grins at him. They begin their game of Knights, the one that they've been playing for a fairly good portion of their friendship. Arthur is the lead knight, and Leon is his trusty sidekick—sideknight, really, but Mommy had said that there was no such thing.

They grab their sticks and fend off the evil dragon that threatens the Playground of Justice. Fiercely attacking the nefarious Treewoman, they climb on top of her and battle her minions, the Leafminions!

All the while, even though Arthur is playing with  _Leon_ , and it's completely unfair to his best friend, Arthur keeps an eye on Merlin, who continues swinging with a soft smile on his lips. Sometimes, their eyes meet and Merlin raises an eyebrow, a signal that Arthur takes to mean 'stop looking over here and play with your friend'. Merlin's forced to make that face a decent number of times.

Time flies by, and before Arthur's very eyes, the sun is turning the sky pink and purple, beginning to set behind the horizon of trees. He and Leon hop out of the tree and head towards the gate. Before Arthur exits, however, he veers back to Merlin and hugs him. Tight. He flashes the clearly surprised teenager a grin and dashes off to trail behind Leon, starting on their way home.

Arthur glances back one last time and is pleased to find a wide and sincerely happy smile on Merlin's face. He feels accomplished.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I say Sunday? I meant next Sunday... 
> 
> *shot*
> 
> So sorry for the really late update! This chapter has been bothering me because the emotions were kind of hard to convey and I was busy in really life, so yeah... Anyway, here! It might be kind of half-assed in the end, but I'm at a con and well, I'm kind of in a semi rush? I don't know... I hope you like it?

Arthur doesn't want to believe what his father had told him. It isn't possible! It's  _isn't_! His mommy, his lovely, caring, gentle mommy  _can't_ be dead! He runs, his feet pounding against the pavement in a futile attempt to break the ground beneath him. All he wants right now is to be back with his mommy, his warm, living, smiling mommy.

Before he realizes it, his feet have taken him to the park, where Merlin sits, oddly expectant and worried. Arthur watches as Merlin's brow furrows, and he dashes up to the older boy, throwing himself at him, sobbing endless tears into his shoulder.

Merlin holds him gently, just like Arthur's mommy had done before, and that thought only starts up the tears again. Gentle arms wrap themselves around Arthur, and he registers the creaking of the chains as Merlin kicks them off the ground, still hugging Arthur close to him. They rock back and forth in the cool air, their swinging creating a breeze that helps ebb the pain.

The tears are stopping, and now Arthur is dry sobbing against Merlin, grasping onto the older boy's clothes with an iron grip. If he lets go of Merlin, will he disappear too? After all, Mommy had died when Arthur let go of  _her_  hand.

"I won't disappear," Merlin murmurs, as though he can hear Arthur's thoughts. Arthur stares up at sincere blue eyes, and they look down at him gently. _  
_

Arthur hides his face into the crook of Merlin's shoulder and mumbles faintly, "Don't leave."

"I won't."

And that's that.

o0o0o0o

When Arthur wakes up, he's vaguely aware that he's not home in bed like he had thought he was. Instead, he's outside, and the sun is just beginning to creep over the horizon, painting the sky oranges and reds. As he gains more awareness, he realizes with a jolt that he's still clinging onto Merlin. He jolts, throwing himself out of Merlin's arms. Falling back onto the woodchips, Arthur stammers and babbles, trying to gain some semblance of sanity.

He realizes that Merlin is laughing. Well, more like snickering, but either way, Merlin is smiling. Even though it's at his expense, Arthur still grins.

"You should have seen the look on your face when you woke up!" Merlin says.

Arthur's pouting now, and he can't seem to bring himself to care how childish he's being, because it's  _Merlin_. Then it hits him again. The reason why he had come to the park in the first place.

Merlin must see the change in his expression, but he doesn't move closer. It's interesting, Arthur notes, how Merlin has never once left the swing in the many times that he's visited the older boy. Merlin's laugh does die down though, and he asks with a somber tone, "What's wrong?"

He scrunches his face up and bites his bottom lip, but he doesn't reply. Merlin just sits there and waits, the comfortable and constant  _creak creak_  of the chains echoing in the night. The sun is dipping down into the horizon, and the sky is becoming more purple than red. Arthur curls into himself, protecting himself from the chilly wind that blows by him, ruffling his hair and pulling at his clothes.

Finally, he hears Merlin sigh. He cringes, because  _whatifMerlinisdispleasedwithhimwhatifhedidn'tlikeb eingbotheredwhatif—_

"Come here, Arthur." When he looks up, he sees Merlin with a fond smile, gesturing with open arms. Letting out a strangled sob, Arthur stumbles towards his comforting older brother (because what is this reassurance he feels with Merlin if not the love of siblings?) and wraps his arms around Merlin's waist, crying into his shoulder.

Merlin whispers to him, and Arthur can't understand what he's saying through his sobs, but it doesn't sound like English. There are lilting vowels and a poetic edge to the words. Merlin lets him cry, so Arthur does.

He cries for his mommy, who has  _left him,_ and for his impassive father, who he hates and loves, and for Morgana, who loves—loved his mommy just as much as he does—did.

Arthur pulls away, scrubbing at his eyes and nose, wiping away all of the tears. He looks up at Merlin, blurry-eyed. "I won't cry anymore."

"It's okay if you cry," Merlin murmurs. "Everybody needs to cry sometime."

"Have you cried?" Arthur asks, desperate to discuss everything besides crying.

Merlin looks up at the sky, humming quietly, and replies softly. "I have."

"For who?"

"For many of my loved ones who have died, for the one person that I loved apart from my family, for the people who have suffered, and the many who have died because of me." Merlin looks at Arthur knowingly. "It's not your fault, you know."

Arthur looks away, determined not to show any weakness, especially not after crying his eyes out. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh Arthur," Merlin sighs, hugging Arthur close to his chest. Arthur fists the rough material in his hands, feeling the rise and fall of Merlin's chest, because  _Merlin is alive_. "Do you want to tell me about it?" Merlin asks softly. Arthur breathes in...out...and nods.

Merlin's arms are warm and reassuring around him. "Mommy and I...we were going to go get ice cream, because I had been asking her for it so many times... We were waiting to cross the road when the wind blew my hat of. I-I went to chase it and then there were—" Arthur rubs at his eyes furiously as Merlin's arms tighten and draw him closer. "There were screams and s-screeches a-and then the crash..."

Arthur chokes out a sob, refusing to cry into Merlin's already damp shirt. "I-I woke up later and-and Daddy was sitting by the b-bed and just  _looking_  at me. A-and then h-h-he-he s-said that—" He tightens his hand in Merlin's shirt. "Th-that M-Mo-Mommy, that Mommy was  _dead._ "

Merlin starts swinging again, shushing Arthur gently as though he were calming an infant. It's a long silence before Merlin repeats, "It's not your fault, Arthur."

"But it's  _my_  fault that Mommy ran out to cover me... Daddy said so..." Arthur chokes out. He hears Merlin snarl something under his breath, but knows instinctively that his friend's ire is not directed at him.

"No. It's not." Merlin's voice is firm and Arthur feels compelled to look up and gaze into their sincere blue eyes. It's not your fault that you're mother  _chose_ to run after you. It's not your fault that the driver didn't stop. It's not  _your_ fault that the wind blew. You couldn't have stopped it, Arthur." Arthur just shakes his head. He wants to believe it, but he still remembers his father's stormy gaze and the sound of loud piercing screams.

Sighing, Merlin smiles down at him. "Do you still want to talk?" Arthur thinks about it, subconsciously curling into Merlin. He can only think of one thing that he wants to talk about, because after all, he barely knows anything about Merlin.

"What about your mommy?" Merlin's smile falters. He bites his lip and stares past Arthur for a second.

Then he whispers, just barely loud enough for Arthur to hear, "She...was a wonderful woman, who smiled no matter what and fought for everything she cared for. She practically raised me all by herself after my father disappeared on us. She was my entire world, and she supported me through everything, no matter what my choices were. She was a strong person, never afraid to fight for what she believed in. I was lucky to have her."

"Was?"

Merlin sounds rueful. "She died...a long time ago."

"Oh." Arthur mumbles, because really, there's nothing else can say to something like that.

They stay silent for a while, the sound of wind and swings therapeutic. Right now, there is only Merlin and Arthur, two boys who have lost their mothers and take solace in the company of each other.

o0o0o0o

Arthur has fallen asleep again, waking to the chirping of birds and the sound of breathing. He rubs his eyes sleepily, glancing up to see Merlin slumped against the chains, breathing evenly. The older boy looks exhausted and Arthur feels a pang of guilt for keeping him up for so long talking. Arthur watches Merlin sleep for a while, grateful that Merlin is willing to show such a moment of vulnerability to him. Merlin's always been smiling and comforting Arthur, so the younger wants to return the favor.

Merlin makes a small mewling noise, followed by a quiet yawn. Arthur climbs off of Merlin's lap, gently removing the brunet's arms from where they had been resting, wrapped around Arthur's shoulders. He scrambles onto the next swing over, getting on successfully just before Merlin wakes up.

There's a groan of confusion as Merlin blinks his eyes open, mouth stretching open as he yawns. His eyes crinkle in the corners, the sun casting a warm light onto his absurdly prominent cheekbones. "Arthur?" Merlin mumbles, stretching out his long lanky limbs.

"Here," Arthur answers, grinning. Merlin jerks to stare at him before sinking, sighing.

"You scared me. When did you get over there?" Arthur just grins, and Merlin seems to know exactly what he's saying. The two swing back and forth together, just enjoying the company of the other. It's chilly out, but the sun has just barely begun to rise. There's a soft breeze that rustles the leaves of the trees around them. The park is filled with a comfortable silence that envelops a world of only Arthur, Merlin, and the creatures of the morning.

After a while, Merlin looks at Arthur and flashes him a hesitant shy smile. "Since I know so much about you, how about I tell you a bit about me?" Arthur beams and nods hurriedly. He leaps off mid-swing and settles himself back into Merlin's lap. Merlin chuckles lightly and keeps one arm around Arthur protectively while he continues swinging. "Alright. Where do you want me to begin?"

Arthur hums as he thinks, finally asking, "Where did you grow up?"

"In a small town called Ealdor. It's really far from here, in the middle of nowhere, so nobody knows of it. It's probably gone by now..." Merlin says sadly. "It was terribly small, but comfortable and welcoming. Everybody knew each other and we were all family, even if we weren't related by blood. My best mate, Will, lived there too." Merlin looks melancholic at that, but smiles reassuringly to Arthur. "What next?"

"What was your family like?" That question has been bothering Arthur for a while, so he voices it.

Merlin purses his lips together. "It's...kind of complicated. I've really only had my mother for most of my life, so I never knew about anything else. My father left when I was just a baby, so I never knew him. I met him later on in my life, but shortly after that, he died. My mother had a brother named Gaius, who took me in after I left home and taught me. I basically lived with him and studied under him. My mate Will was like a brother to me in a lot of ways, and there was someone else, but I don't know how he would have fit into the family umbrella..."

"Who was he?"

"He was my other best friend, basically my closest companion after Will died too." Arthur whimpers in sympathy. How has Merlin been able to stay so strong with so many of his loved ones dying? "I worked under him, but I also was his friend, so that made for an interesting friendship." Merlin laughs, and Arthur envies how this friend of his can make Merlin look so joyous.

"What was his name?"

Merlin looks as though he's about to answer, but Arthur's daddy chooses that moment to burst into the park, calling out Arthur's name. Arthur curls into Merlin, but Merlin gently removes him from his lap. Arthur starts to protest when Merlin shakes his head. "Go with your dad," he says, and Arthur does, trudging grumpily over to his fussing father.

Uther scolds him for running off for so long before gathering Arthur up in his arms and hugging him as though Arthur is going to disappear. Arthur casts a glance towards Merlin, who is  _alone_ on the swings. Merlin just shakes his head and waves weakly, mouthing  _Go with him_.

Arthur hates leaving Merlin, but he will if Merlin says so.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I might just end up updating this every other Sunday... Mm, maybe only until school's over. *sigh*

When Arthur enters the park with his friends, he immediately feels Merlin's eyes watching him. When he finds Merlin, on the swing like he always is, he notices that there's a look in his eyes that's...different from before. There's something that makes him feel just a little bit guilty for going to the park with other people, but hadn't Merlin said last time that he should go play with his friends when Arthur had brought Leon?

So he does.

Gwen. Morgana, and Leon are with him, so he can't play the same game that he plays with Leon all the time with the girls along. Morgana refuses to the damsel in distress, so she becomes the evil witch while Gwen, reassuring that she doesn't mind, plays the princess trapped by the evil witch. Arthur is the mighty king sent to rescue the princess and Leon is his trusty knight. It feels oddly familiar, but Arthur ignores the nagging feeling as he parries a swing from the witch with his trusty stick.

He snatches glimpses of Merlin as he tumbles down the slide and when he climbs a tree to retrieve the scarf that Morgana threw up there, watching as Merlin smiles and bites his lip when he thinks Arthur isn't watching. Arthur doesn't understand why Merlin looks upon them wistfully. Hadn't he been the one to say that Arthur should go play with his friends?

It's as though Merlin is watching him all the time, but it's not really Arthur that he's watching. Arthur can't think of who else Merlin could be watching, because for all he knows, Merlin has never met Gwen or Morgana and he's never met Leon. However, he does catch Merlin's eyes locking onto Morgana's more than once. Morgana seems to be aware of it, and she shakes her head minutely, so Merlin looks away and continues staring off into the distance. Arthur doesn't like that it might be possible for someone other than him to see Merlin.

He doesn't want to dwell on the thought, so he pushes it to the side, concentrating on the game that he's playing with his friends. After all, one does have to think when the witch turns your best friend against you. He dodges the flying stick absentmindedly and charges at Morgana with a war cry.

She leaps out of the way, her eyes glittering with amusement. Sticking a tongue out at him, she grabs Gwen's hand and calls out, "Leon, to me!" Leon, who has been brainwashed with a handful of woodchips to the face, runs after her. It seems as though Arthur's only option is to chase after them, but he stays still and watches them for a second before running the other way to cut them off before they run laps around the playground, neither catching the other.

Arthur meets them with a triumphant "Got you!" The witch is crafty though, and abandons her hostages before making a hasty getaway via the slide. In order to save his friend and the princess, Arthur taps them each on the head thrice (Leon gets it a bit harder so that he knows not to betray Arthur like that again) and chases Morgana up the slide.

Even with his sneakers, the slide is slippery, so it takes a few tries before he gives up and chooses to take the stairs instead. It's a perfect idea, because Morgana has run to that end of the structure. He cuts her off before she escapes and brandishes his stick-sword at her.

"You can never escape, you evil witch!" Arthur yells, swishing the stick back and forth.

Morgana smirks. It's a smirk that makes everybody flinch, even the fifth graders. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah!" Leon calls out from down below. "Arthur will catch you in no time! He's the king!"

"Not if I can help it!" Morgana replies. She runs an opening and slides down a pole, landing on the ground with a small burst of woodchips.

The chase continues for another hour, switching off roles. At some point, Gwen becomes a sorceress and joins forces with Leon, who is a sorcerer fighting against Arthur and Morgana. Each of them have a chance to be good and bad so the girls aren't insulted that only they're the evil ones or the ones in need of rescuing.

Arthur successfully forgets about the glances that Morgana and Merlin shared.

o0o0o0o

It's only when Gwen's dad comes to pick up Gwen that they realize that it's time for lunch and that they need to leave. Arthur and Leon are supposed to walk home with Morgana since they don't live that far, but when Arthur sees Morgana walk over to the swings, he tells Leon to go ahead of them. Leon, being the best friend that he is, snickers and leaves.

He hides behind the rock climber, peeking through one of the foot holes. Arthur sees Morgana sit down on the swing next to Merlin and start swinging. Merlin follows her example and the two are silent for a minute before Morgana asks, "I see you've been spending your time wisely."

Merlin chuckles dryly. "It's not as though I've had much of a choice. Apparently being Emrys doesn't exactly account for complete immortality. This is my last time."

Morgana sounds shocked. "What do you mean, it's your last?! The rest of us still have _—"_

"I know." Merlin replies, resignation seeping through every word.

They're silent again, and Arthur aches to know what they're talking about. What do they mean,  _last time_?

"It's good to see you so happy again. I was worried...after..." Merlin trails off.

Morgana laughs lightly and smiles at Merlin. "Yes. I suppose this new life was good for me. Some things never change though."

Merlin's eyes widen. "You mean, the dreams _—"_

"Yes. Since the world's not exactly coming to an end, they've been peaceful for the most part. Needless to say, there are no dragons or ghosts or other supernatural entities bent on destroying whatever peace there is, so... It also seems as though I'm the only one who remembers. Arthur and Leon and Gwen have no recollection of...back then."

"Perhaps it is for the best. They deserve another chance as well. It would be...too much for them." Merlin chuckles, eyes smiling as he grins at Morgana. "You always were the most clear-headed of us all. Always the practical one, hm?"

"And that's why you all loved me so much." Morgana declares.

"Only one of the many, Morgana." Merlin quips playfully.

Arthur watches the two banter with a burning feeling in his chest. He's glad that the two look so happy, but he doesn't like the familiarity that they seem to share. Morgana's never spoken about something like this before, and why did Arthur's name come up? Some of the things they're saying make no sense. They seem to be talking about a time that doesn't exist, with kings and dragons and ghosts. Even though Arthur is only seven, he knows that those don't exist anymore. His father has told him that much at least.

His attention returns to the two when he hears something Morgana says.

"About Arthur... Are you sure you want to do this?" There's melancholy there, overlaying concern.

"I'm sure." Merlin replies, but it's softer and slightly hesitant. Why wouldn't Merlin want to be friends with him?

Morgana skids to a stop, digging her feet into the ground and sending up a spray of woodchips. "Even after all of that? After..."

"Yes." Merlin's tone has no room for argument, and Arthur feels a small burst of joy in his chest. "Even after all of that. I went so long without him, Morgana. I can't do it again. I need him, no matter how short the time we have together."

"Merlin _—"_

 _"Morgana_."

Morgana sighs and slides off of the swing, standing to face Merlin, who stops swinging and returns the gaze. She steps closer and wraps her small arms around his waist in what must be a bone-crushing hug because Merlin squeaks before returning the embrace. "I forgive you, you know. For..."

"Yeah." Merlin smiles, burying his face in her shoulder.

Arthur feels horrible about watching them during their private moment. It's clear that they're incredibly close, even though he's almost entirely sure that they've never met before today. It confuses him, because, how did they meet and how do they know so much about each other? Why has Arthur come up in their conversation? Arthur stays hidden as the gate creaks and Morgana leaves the park.

There's silence again, but the creaks start up as Merlin swings back and forth, the wind rustling his hair and clothing. Arthur sneaks out from under the structure and runs for the other gate that doesn't creak, out of Merlin's sight.

o0o0o0o

When he reaches the gate, he tries to make a break for it. He's stopped by the sudden harsh grip on his arm. Arthur is yanked backwards and jerked so that he's facing Morgana, who's staring at him with an indescribably expression on her face. He blanches, ripping his arm out of her grasp and darting his eyes back and forth as though he's searching for some kind of solution to his predicament in the bushes and benches. "I _—"_

"Save it. How much did you hear?"

Arthur gulps. "Um...everything?"

Morgana looks exasperated and rakes a hand through her long black hair. She crosses her arms and huffs a bit. "Well, this isn't exactly how I had planned for it to happen. It's Merlin's call from here on."

Grasping onto her arms, Arthur demands, "What is? What's going on, Morgana?"

She smiles at him fondly but firmly removes her hands from her arms. "It's not up for me to say. Merlin will tell you when he's ready. You're only seven, Arthur. Give it time. Don't you want to be friends with Merlin?"

"I do!" Arthur protests in frustration. "I just want to know how you and Merlin know each other! He told be that everybody else couldn't see him! Why can you?" He hates how desperate he sounds, but he  _needs_  to know.

"Give. It. Time." Morgana emphasizes, rolling her eyes. "I'll tell you a bit, okay?" Arthur nods excitedly. Anything is good. He just wants to know more about Merlin, about his not-so-new friend. "Merlin and I... We didn't exactly meet on the best of terms, but we became friends really quickly. He...worked under my brother. Half-brother, really, but technicalities aside. We've known each other for a long time, I'll tell you that much. We've had our ups and downs, but it's worked out. With time, of course. Satisfied?"

Arthur tries to interject and say that no, he's not satisfied, but the frosty look on Morgana's face stops him from uttering anything. Smiling, Morgana holds out her hand and Arthur takes it.

They walk back home in relative silence, parting when they're forced to turn to their respective streets. Throughout all of dinner, he promises to himself that he'll only ask of information from Merlin when Merlin is ready to provide it. He doesn't want to push and force Merlin to thell him everything. Arthur remembers what Morgana has said and tells himself that he  _is_ only seven and he wants his friendship with Merlin to last a lot longer.

It's only when Arthur lies back in bed that he realizes Morgana never answered his last question.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, summer vacation! I'm going to have more time to write from now on, but July's kind of going to be filled with Camp NaNoWriMo... I'm definitely going to continue the constant updates of this and FBFC though~ It's kind of going to be me juggling my novel with these two pieces while also trying to work on Chibis Go To Hogwarts and Leaving and Staying on the side... *laughs* Oh well! Here's some more Arthur and Merlin! Sorry this chapter is a bit odd. I've been trying to figure out what to put in the middle. It's all been WHOO BEGINNING WHOO ENDING WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS IN THE MIDDLE and everything...

Uther makes Arthur take up extra karate lessons, so Arthur has less and less time to go visit Merlin. On the bright side, he is now able to successfully take down many of his usually older opponents, but it's lonely without the company of the older boy. It's been over three months now, and he's not able to sneak out at all to visit him. Arthur has school and friends that take up his time. He likes playing with Morgana, Gwen, and Leon, but he misses Merlin's company.

Arthur thinks about Merlin's lonely mien every minute of his free time and feels guilty that he can't go back to the park and visit. It's only on Arthur's birthday that he slips out to dash to the park to visit Merlin.

He brings with him a chunk of leftover cake and two forks so he and Merlin can share. Arthur also slips his favorite deck of cards into his pockets. He just recently learned a new game, so he wants to play with Merlin. The entire way to the park, Arthur runs. He wants to get there as fast as he can so that Merlin can know that Arthur has not forgotten him.

When he finally does reach the park, the gate squeaks obnoxiously, but the sound is welcoming. It signals his arrival to Merlin, who looks up from the ground and grins as Arthur as he slips inside. Arthur runs over to Merlin, shouting, "It's my birthday today! I brought cake for you!" Merlin laughs joyfully as Arthur nearly slips on the woodchips in his haste to reach Merlin's side.

"Don't trip! It'd be a shame if you dropped the cake!" Merlin teases, kicking his feet up to get the swing started up right as Arthur reaches him.

Arthur just sticks out his tongue and maneuvers himself so that he can place the cake down right under Merlin's feet. Merlin protests, feet flailing as he tries to find some way of landing without crushing the cake. "That was entirely my own fault, wasn't it," Merlin says. It's not a question, because both of them know that yes, it was Merlin's own fault. It doesn't bother them though, so Arthur just watches in glee as Merlin scrambles, eventually landing just a bit behind the cake. He suspends himself there for a moment, dropping down to swing back and forth once or twice before coming to a stop.

Merlin sighs in relief, bending down to pick up the cake and hold it out to Arthur. "Here, I think you dropped this."

"No, silly!" Arthur laughs (doesn't giggle because now he's eight, and eight-year-olds don't  _giggle_ ) and takes the cake anyway. "It's for you! I already had some cake at the party."

Merlin takes the cake, placing it down on his lap, kicking his feet back and forth. The action makes him look so much younger than he really is. The cake hovers perilously on the edge of his knees, but neither of them care. Merlin asks, "What kind of cake is it?"

Arthur raises an eyebrow as disapprovingly as possible, shooting back, "Does it really matter? It's cake! Cake is amazing no matter what kind!"

Sighing, Merlin says, "You still have much to learn, young one. Cake is the most essential of desserts. There is a vast spectrum of cakes, from the most decadent of cakes to the crappiest cheapest cake you could ever possibly try!"

"Alright then," Arthur ponders. "What kind of cake have you had then?"

"A number of cakes, too many to possibly keep track of." Merlin's clearly avoiding the question, but Arthur lets him. "There have been variations of cake and combinations of cake with other desserts!"

"I get it, I get it!" Jumping onto the adjacent swing, Arthur proclaims, "Just eat the cake already! It's chocolate, okay?"

Humming in acquiescence, Merlin uncovers the saran wrap, taking the plastic fork from Arthur's outstretched hand. He moves slowly, dragging out the moment like a slow motion action sequence. Arthur wriggles in anticipation. " _Mer_ lin, hurry up!" Apparently, what he says shocks Merlin for a second. The older boy's eyes widen and they stare down at the cake blankly. "Merlin...?" As though snapping from a trance, Merlin grins and stabs the cake with the fork, easing a piece off. He brings the piece of sugary goodness up to his mouth and bites into the chocolate cake. He hums in satisfaction, rolling the cake around in his mouth and chewing before swallowing. Arthur stares at him, waiting for a reaction. Slowly, Merlin smiles brightly. "It's absolutely delicious."

"Of course it is," Arthur boasts. "Nothing but the best for Arthur Pendragon, of course!" Merlin rolls his eyes, smirking good-naturedly.

"I'm sure," he quips. Arthur giggles, not saying anything else. He watches as Merlin devours the rest of the cake with enthusiasm, closing his eyes to savor the flavor.

Arthur swings back and forth on the swing, straddling it like he's riding a horse. "You look as though you haven't eaten for a century!" Arthur jokes. At least, it was meant to be a joke.

"That's because I haven't. For more than a century, in fact." Merlin replies around a mouthful of cake. He swallows. "I don't  _need_  to eat, but food is always welcome. I've missed the taste of food..." After being Merlin's friend for so long, Arthur picks up the hint that he shouldn't pry any more. However, even if Merlin doesn't want to talk about food, Arthur still wants to know more about Merlin. Whenever Arthur asks about Merlin's past or personal information, the older boy never says much in response. It's frustrating, but some is better than none.

Merlin and Arthur swing back and forth for a little while, Merlin eating the remains of the cake and Arthur watching Merlin intently. "Hey, Merlin. When's your birthday?"

Merlin doesn't reply for a moment, licking off the leftover sugary frosting from the plate. "I don't have one." It's a simple straightforward statement.

"What? Why not? Everybody has a birthday!" Arthur's shocked. Everybody has been born, so everybody has a birthday. It's impossible for someone to not have a birthday.

"I grew up in a very small town, where we didn't exactly have a hospital or doctors or legal papers document each person's birth. All I know is that I was born in the summer. Mid-summer, I think. That's all that my mother ever told me. We never even kept track of the date! Needless to say, we were pretty much in the middle of nowhere." Merlin didn't seem perturbed at all by the fact that he didn't have a birthday set in stone.

Arthur wriggles in his seat uncomfortably. "Then let's give you a birthday! You said mid-summer, right? So...let's make it July 15!"

Merlin coughs in surprise. "You really don't have to, you know. I don't even know how old I am! I mean, I probably had an actual birthday, but I've forgotten. I just needed to know how old I was in general, so it doesn't matter, really." Arthur tries his best puppy dog face in the hopes the Merlin would cave in and accept.

He does, but not after a staring match that lasts a good five minutes or so. "Fine," Merlin sighs. "but you're going to need to tell me when it is. There's no calender here in the park."

Arthur nods enthusiastically. "Of course I will! It's a promise then! I'll bring cake and everything and then we can have a mini birthday party right here for you!" His mind reels. There's so much that he can do! He can save up his allowance and then buy a small cake from the supermarket for Merlin, maybe bring some cookies and sandwiches. Bouncing in his seat, he feels the sudden weight in his pockets. Arthur has completely forgotten about the deck of cards that he brought, so he pulls them out and brandishes them in Merlin's face. "Let's play!"

Merlin places the plate down onto the woodchips next to his swing. "Play what?"

"I just learned this new game called Spit! Do you want to learn?" Merlin's eyes light up, but he frowns suddenly. "What's wrong?"

"Arthur... I can't get off of the swing. Is that alright?"

Arthur pouts. "Are you sure?" Nodding, Merlin looks down at his feet. "This game requires speed and quick reflexes, so I think it'll be difficult if we don't have a playing surface... We could play Go Fish?"

"How do you play that?" Arthur's jaw drops.

"Alright then! It's settled! I need to teach you how to play Go Fish before we try anything else! It's the easiest of card games, so you should learn that before any other game." Arthur pulls out his cards, removing the Jokers before expertly shuffling the deck. It's his favorite deck, so the cards are worn out and bend easily under his fingers. He deftly deals the cards: seven cards each. The remaining cards stay on Arthur's lap. "Merlin, I think it might be easier if you turn to the side like I do. That way I can't see your cards at all and I won't be tempted to take advantage of your ignorance and cheat." He smiles brightly and Merlin rolls his eyes, complying.

Arthur begins explaining the rules, about how there are four suits and thirteen cards to a suit. The point of Go Fish is to match the numbers, regardless of the suit. He shows Merlin how to hold the cars so that he doesn't bleed. Arthur doesn't show Merlin how to cheat yet; he'll wait until the brunet's more used to the game. To his never ending delight, Merlin is a quick learner. There's a feeling of satisfaction when he successfully teaches Merlin.

The only problem is when Merlin realizes that maybe Arthur is cheating. Just a little bit. Maybe. Merlin gets horribly frustrated at that, but Arthur remains unfazed. At least, he is until Merlin starts cheating as well, and he's ridiculously good at keeping a poker face and not revealing  _anything_.

Playing becomes automatic as he starts contemplating exactly how long Merlin could have been stuck on the swing. If he hasn't even learned Go Fish and has no idea when his real birthday is, how long could it have been? Arthur's not very good with dates, but he knows that it must have been a  _lot_ of time.

"I know this one game..." Merlin starts. Arthur flicks his gaze upwards and nods. "Do you want me to teach you? We can use the cards, though the rules are quite different from those of Go Fish."

Arthur grins. "Of course! I'd love to learn a new game!" Merlin smiles and collects all the cards, launching into an explanation of the game that he played often with his friends. Arthur absorbs the rules eagerly, filing it away in the back of his mind. He asks all kinds of questions, some of which are irrelevant to the game and some that Merlin has to pause and think about.

They play for a good amount of time, until Arthur looks down and his watch and frowns. "I promised Leon that I would go to his house tonight... I need to go now if I still want to have time to play with him."

Merlin nods in understanding. "That's alright. Here, your cards." Arthur takes him, pouting.

"I don't want to leave now... I haven't gotten used to the new game yet." It's an excuse to stay longer, and both of them know it.

"You can always come back tomorrow," Merlin says.

Arthur nods and starts towards the gate. Halting, he turns back and hugs Merlin fiercely, pulling away after a few seconds. "I'll see you later!" he calls as he takes off running.

Merlin waves at him from his place on the swing.


End file.
